I’m hoping that the universe is smarter than me and that it has good intentions because we certainly weren’t playing by my rules today. My world turned a tiny little bit upside down. It’s not that anything particularly bad happened. It’s just that nothing went as I had expected and certain plans I had made fell apart in fairly spectacular and dramatic fashion. I’m going to have to assume that I am riding some huge benevolent karmic wave that will lead me to somewhere even better than I had been imagining. Let me tell you … in this case … that better be a pretty un-fucking-believable place because my imagination had a lot of dynamite things planned for the week ahead.
I tried not to panic. I fought against feelings of anxiety, disappointment, and frustration. I tried to find my way to a place acceptance. I had to Kubler-Ross my way through it, but I think I made it.
First there was denial. You did not win your game! You guys aren’t even that good! Weren’t you supposed to be knocked out of the playoffs weeks ago? I’m sure we could make it on time if we left at 6 in the morning. No problem.
Then came anger (that was fun). Whatever. I don’t care. I’m cancelling everything. No I’m not intentionally ignoring your messages and calls (oh … but really I am … cause you’re a dick!). Actually … I’m pretty busy right now rearranging things that just fell apart because of … well … yeah … you. Oh and Air Canada can bite my ass. The one time I don’t buy a fully refundable ticket and they’re not going to help me out. Fuckers!
Then came bargaining (this was a bit of a desperate phase). Alright. Figured everything out I think. But … just so you know … a lot of people are kind of upset that the plans fell apart. You better make it up to me. Wait … you’re not doing this because you don’t want to see me are you? Cause … you know I’m super fun. Oh yeah … I did read the part about you wanting me to come stay with you. Of course it will be awesome. Two days crammed into one. Let’s see what we can do with 24 hours. Bring your best. Yup … it’s all good.
Then … ugh … the (fortunately short-lived) depression. Maybe none of this is worth it. Seriously. What am I doing? I’m sure he could have figured this out if he really wanted to. And … can’t he stay for two nights? Maybe it has become too complicated and difficult. I don’t know. Seriously shouldn’t I just move onto something real? I was looking forward to _____. And … on top of everything else … I’m probably never going to get my tattoo. Maybe this is a sign.
But fortunately, at the end of the day, there was acceptance. This could all be for the best. We’ll still have tonnes of fun and he really is trying to make this all work and seems genuinely sorry. Besides … I made all of these plans without checking with him … like at all. I figured everything out in the end and there are actually a lot of silver linings. I was worried about leaving Myles on his own for so many days. I was worried about showing up to the yoga photo shoot with a scabby new tattoo. I was worried about 48 hours (always very intense). Now everything will be easier and even better.
So there you go. Acceptance. Nice. Only took about 6 hours in total. But … just to be sure … if you are trying this yourself … I do recommend sealing it all in with some very fast running (yes, of course, to die antwoord) and a few handstands. Seems to do the trick.
PS … calls and texts to your BFFs at each of Kubler-Ross’s stages also helps.
cast of characters
he who shall remain nameless (no pants) – tattooed occupant of room 708 and lover of mittens
myles (bub) – the creative / funny / smart 17-year-old who lives with me, my stepson
jen (jennifer jen) – my lovely friend who drinks tea, cries during movies, and sun-seeks with me
sherri (SLC) – my musical soul mate who shares with me a love of vampires and the absurd