witching hour polls and random musings


actual photo of me relaxing

I’m part of the way through day 2 of a leave from work that my doctor has ordered me to take so that I can allow my body to heal and recover and rejuvenate … find some of the vitality I’ve lost … repair my shattered immune system and give my little adrenals a bit of a break.

Day 1 went … well … exactly as you would have guessed.

“Slept in” until 7:15 AM and made myself a giant pot of coffee. Drank 3 cups by 7:53 AM.

Made bed. Unmade bed. Theory – if it’s not made maybe I will be more likely to crawl back under the covers at some point. People have told me naps are good. Naps are good right?

Checked work email to see if … A) I’ve been fired for requesting time off … B) anyone is missing me … C) people have made any decisions or taken on any cool projects while I’ve been gone (yes this was prior to the workday officially beginning).

Deleted Facebook app from my phone after making a grand announcement about needing a break and needing to move my focus inwards for a while. Immediately forgot about grand announcement and decision. Spent 37 minutes scrolling my feed and making comments on baby animal videos and friends’ beach vacation photos. Got irritated with my brother for making a smart ass comment about the break “obviously being over”. Switched to instagram because he’s hardly ever on there.

Tidied apartment. Made MORE COFFEE. Searched craigslist for cool affordable 2-bedroom apartments in hip neighbourhoods. Ranted via text to my friend about how stupid the vancouver rental market has become. Harassed Jay one more time in an effort to persuade him that kits is WAY BETTER than east van. Succeeded at irritating us both. Sent cute meme. (That should do the trick.)

Spent 45 minutes making / finding / saving cute memes to have in my (electronic) back pocket for when I need to harass Jay again about moving to kits. This battle is not over.

Scrambled and ate one egg. That killed 5 minutes.

Obsessively checked work email again. Still nothing from my boss. STRESS level completely off the charts. Realized it was only 10:30 AM. Wondered what people do with their time off. Debated starting a social media poll to get some ideas. Chose to hold off and see what I could come up with on my own. How hard could it be.

HARD as it turns out.

Decided to counter stress by going to a noon spin class. SPIN IT OUT!!!!! That helped. Totally restful.

Back to my apartment. Obsessively checked work email again. Still nothing from my boss. STRESSED OUT AGAIN. Seriously wondering if I am fired.

Checked my fitbit stats only to learn that my friend who is 8 and 1/2 months pregnant is beating me and to discover that fitbit only counted my 45-minute spin class as 10 minutes of exercise! Did sprints in my 480-square-foot apartment for about 10 minutes to get my step count up. Contacted fitbit to demand they acknowledge my spin efforts and … while we were at it … chose to inform them that they obviously know NOTHING about yoga. Yoga is not just lying on the ground breathing. I told them they should come to a power class and then try to tell me that it’s only equivalent to 60 steps. (You’re welcome fitbit.)

Looked at unmade bed. Crawled under covers with blinds open. Sun shining in. Distracted by sunbeams. Closed blinds. Lay there staring at the ceiling. Checked fitbit. Pregnant friend took 1500 steps in the last hour!!!!!!! WTF?!?!

Tried on all of Jay’s shirts that he’s donating to see if any fit me. Figured I could pull off the one that says “death preacher”. Practiced handstands in the front hall.

Walked to grocery store. Went up and down every aisle to maximize step count. Bought 1 apple, 3 sticks of celery, and a bag of cookies (6 tiny cookies for $12 dollars … totally good deal!).

Home again. Obsessively checked work email again. Still nothing from boss. Wrote article that proves how wise I am about astrological things and about how taking this break is something that I know will be good for me. Sent article to all friends / family members. Debated cheating on my faceBREAK to post article there. Resisted the temptation.

Got back into bed for 3 minutes and 27 seconds. Got up. Did a few more sprints in my apartment. Damn you Chelsea!!! Sit still already!! You’re about to have a baby for crissakes!

Drank green juice. Played wordbrain2. Cheated by looking up clues.

Checked work email. Nothing from boss.

Made new playlists.

5:00. Antsy AF.

Walked SUPER FAST (basically jogged) to yoga studio that is 3 km from my place. Arrived for a gentle yin class with my heart racing … totally ready to relax. 75 minutes of deep stretching … mellow music, dim lighting, warm air, essential oils to soothe the body and mind. Felt legit chill. (Acknowledged to self that finally being 107 steps ahead of Chelsea was at least partly contributing to my sense of ease.)

Home. One more walk to the grocery store (basically to solidify my step victory for the day). Bought squishy sourdough buns.

Back to the apartment. Made peanut butter toast on recently acquired squishy sourdough buns (because after all … I’m in convalescence mode and peanut butter toast is the definition of comfort food). Watched 3 episodes of “House of Cards” (trying to get Jay caught up so I can watch the latest season). Subtly / stealthily kicked his leg whenever he started to nod off. (Baby.)

Made it to midnight. Silently / stubbornly declared day 1 a total success (despite the vibiness I felt as I lay in bed).

Lay awake for another 90 minutes wondering what I was going to do with day 2 (and 3 and 4 and so on … 2 whole weeks????) Man! I am going to be so relaxed at the end of this that nobody will recognize me!


One thought on “an extrovert’s guide to relaxation

  1. Scrunchion says:

    You need to give up trying to relax, it’s not your natural state and it’s stressful for you. That doesn’t mean you have to constantly count steps, trash the Fitbit thingy and just enjoy the walk. It’s not about how many or how far but how much you enjoyed it.

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